It was a Thursday night and for the second week in a row I sat enveloped in tears. Life was heavy again and just like clock work it fell on the same day that it had the week before. My eyes stayed fixed on the patterned tile as tear, after tear, maneuvered it's way down my tired face.
Patrick, hand on my knee, sat with me in silence as the air in the room seemingly became thinner and thinner. I couldn't find the words to continue to speak or to further explain my emotions, so we just sat there; In the quiet of a studio apartment I tried to remember where sadness ends and joy begins.
Patrick, I've found, is solid. He's not easily moved or undone by the cares and the weight of life. He moves through this, often dark world, like an anchor tied firmly to a ship. He doesn't run from the storms that tend to sweep in and disrupt life but in the midst of them he's firm and consistent...he's not going anywhere.
When a dating app brought us together, I had no idea how drastically my life would be enriched. Throughout our short time together Patrick has laughed with me, cried with me, traveled with me and encouraged me. I often wonder if I add half as much to his life as he adds to mine and I am completely undone with how well this guy loves me.
Movies and quotes tell us to wait for a love that sets your soul on fire but I say wait for a love that holds you steady while the world around you feels like it's crumbling. Wait for a love that prays for you when you can't find the words to pray for yourself and whispers truth into your ear when all you can feel is pain.
Patrick models Christ in everything that he does especially, lucky me, the way that he loves.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, God forbid Patrick and I ever have to part ways but if we do I'll still be a better woman and a better human because of him. I'll walk a little taller, speak with a bit more conviction and live a life that aims to love people with a firm, reliable and unwavering love.
When the tears finally stopped falling, we sat for 20 minutes and didn't speak. I closed my eyes and soaked up the silence. As my eyes crept open I expected to see a man that was uncomfortable with the raw emotions of the moment but instead I was met by the look of love. As he poured more tea into my cup, our eyes locked and the pain that roared around me began to cease and within a moment, I was anchored.