So short and sweet
these months will be
leading up to the day of our union.
So short and sweet
so wish me luck
to keep it short
wedding planning sucks.
Okay planning doesn't completely suck, it's actually a lot of fun but it's definitely not always fun. Patrick and I are getting married in 108 days. 108 DAYS! It's very exciting because I seriously can't wait to start a life with Patrick. Patrick will be my forever Partner in Adventure and what an adventure life with him is but again, planning is fun but not every aspect of this new stage of life is fun.
I've heard people say that marriage doesn't solve the problems that you have in your relationship but rather it puts a magnifying glass to them. I think it's safe to say that short engagements, or maybe engagements in general, do the same thing. In the last three weeks Patrick and I have bickered about the silliest things. Things that we'd normally let slide or give each other grace for, in the last few weeks, have caused some friction and tension in our relationship.
When I imagined what it would be like getting engaged and planning a wedding I imagined that it would be months and months of happiness and just a hint of stress. What was I thinking? Where did I get that notion from? I'm not sure but the truth is that there's a lot to think about and if you go in to it unprepared (like I did) you will definitely find yourself getting stressed and arguing with Bae.
So if I may, I'd like to pass on some of the many wonderful tips that I've gotten from friends and blogs and that I've learned along the way. Tips that I think are really helpful. Hopefully these leave you feeling motivated, inspired and encouraged in your planning process.
Tip number 1. - Don't plan right away. My dear friend Dannah texted me when Patrick and I first got engaged and suggested that we take some time to just enjoy being engaged and I'm so glad we took her advice. The first week we didn't plan anything. Instead we spent all of our time enjoying each others company. The day after we got engaged I got so many text messages from family and friends all wanting to start planning and it was really nice to just pause it all and ask them to get back to me in a week.
Out of our almost month of being engaged the first week was one of my favorite parts so far. We told our engagement story over and over and we got to relish in the moment and we didn't spend any time thinking about all the things that needed to get done. I'm so grateful to Dannah for dropping that seed in my ear. Taking the first week off helped me to catch my breath before diving in to the crazy whirlwind that is planning a wedding in less than four months.
Tip number - 2. Decide what IS and what is NOT worth fretting over. Before Patrick and I even got engaged we talked about the top three to four things, in regards to our wedding day, that we were going to be particular about and the things that we were just going to let go. Out of all of the aspects of our wedding as long as these three to four things went really well and were planned out, we could essentially live with anything else. Our list included making sure that I had the perfect dress, that our pictures were amazing and that all of our closest family and friends could be there.
Now that we're deep in to this planning thing, I refer back to our list almost daily. When I find myself stressing over our menu or whether or not we're going to have an open bar, I think about our list. When I'm stressing about what the groomsmen are going to wear, if the greenery we like is in season and if we'll be able to have long (compared to round) tables at our reception, I check the list. If it's not on the list, it's not worth the stress. So I strongly encourage you to make a list, stick to the list and take a chill pill about the rest.
Tip number -3. Don't forget that it's YOUR wedding! Okay, so this one is a bit tricky, especially if you're like me and you're kind of a people person and you want all participating parties to be happy. Everyone has a picture and an idea in their head of what they think a wedding should look like. They picture the dresses and the suits and the decor and that's their idea of the perfect wedding day and anything outside of that scope seems out of place to them.
The vision that you have for your wedding, your special day, may be something that people have a hard time grasping. They might say that it's not traditional enough and that it needs more of this and less of that. If you find yourself in a space like that, know that your vision and your desires are okay. Actually they're more than okay, they're perfect. It is YOUR wedding day. I have to give myself this advice all the time. There are so many amazing people helping me to plan and I often find myself hearing their suggestions and feeling bad if I don't like them. But as my bridesmaid Veronika says "This is maybe the only time in your life that the two of you can be 100% selfish and it's considered okay. So be selfish."
So whatever your perfect is, stick to it, regardless of what people say because at the end of the day it's your wedding, so be selfish girlfriend!
And lastly, I don't know if I can call this a tip but rather advice. It's very easy to feel like you've 'arrived' if you will, once you get engaged. Seemingly out of nowhere you're getting a ton of attention from so many people and it can feel like you're all of a sudden important. At least that's how I've felt at times in these last few weeks. I've been overwhelmed, in a good way, by all of the attention that we've been showered with. It's enough to make one think that they've never been more relevant than they are at this very moment.
Engagements are beautiful and I believe they can be very Godly but they are NOT an indication of value or worth. God does not love me any more now than he did before. He doesn't notice me more, or think about me more. God's love for me has never and will never change. That's a truth that I was reminded of this morning during my devotional time. The attention is great, being engaged to Patrick is amazing but if it all went away tomorrow, God's unchanging love for me would remain and that's what is most important.
Until next time friends!
Xoxo - Nico
"My hope is built on nothing less, than Jesus' blood and righteousness; I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly trust in Jesus' name."