Denver, Colorado...year one.

A year ago today my whole world changed. I carefully packed my entire life into two suitcases, a backpack and a carry on and hoped on a plane to move from Pennsylvania to Denver.

At the time I genuinely had no idea what the future held for me. I  knew that I had a place to live and a job but the rest...well the rest I was hoping to figure out as soon as possible.

In the twelve months that I've been in this city I've lived at three different addresses, changed careers, bought a car, cried too many times, laughed till I peed and so much more. This year was unexpected, predictable, terrifying and exciting all at the same time and as I look back on it, it's hard for me to believe that I came out on the other side better than I started.

So right now, in this space, I just want to take a moment to reflect on this past year and how I've been impacted and forever changed by this city.

One of the first things I learned when I moved to Denver is that it's not impossible for things that you're excited about to turn into things that terrify you. My first night here, I laid in my bed on the phone with my best friend and cried for what seemed like hours. Unlike all the other times when I left home, this one felt permanent, less flexible and like I was forever leaving all of my family and friends behind. Very dramatic, I know.

I couldn't understand how I could be so sad about being there when just hours earlier I was beyond excited and ready for the adventure. My friend told me to give it more than 12 hours, to take it one day at a time and to know that I could always go home to my family. That night, as I drifted off to sleep on my tear soaked pillow I was comforted by the truth that sometimes new adventures can be daunting and that's okay.

Another thing that I've learned this year is that in order to build strong, healthy and life giving relationships you have to be willing to abandon your comfort zone. The first few months of living in Denver I was so lonely and disconnected from the city. Besides going to church on the weekend by myself I was not open to saying "yes" to new situations at all. Fear of the new and unknown left me feeling, for the first time in years, like I only had one true friend.

Thankfully, that one friend was someone who really pushed me to meet new people and to step out of my comfort zone and it made all the difference. Now, I not only have a community of diverse, passionate and talented people around me but I'm a more dynamic and well rounded human. It was by making myself uncomfortable and putting myself in awkward situations that I was able to meet people that pour into my life in so many ways and help me to be a better person. You'll never reach your full potential with people and relationships without jumping outside of what feels safe and trusting that the net that's supposed to catch you, will do just that.

Last but not least I learned that with each dark transition comes a sunny and bright horizon. It might seem cliche or corny to say but my darkest moments in Denver can't compare to the joy that I've found here.

Denver's magic far outweighs it's nightmares. It's a city where you'll meet people from all over the country and even the world. People that have made the same decision as you, people who have uprooted their entire lives to chase a dream, a job opportunity and even love. It's a city of music and art, of love and loss, of mountains and deserts. It's a place that's big enough to get lost in but also small enough to be found and it's with ease and excitement that I can say that for me, it's a place I call home.

You don't have to move to a new city or change your entire lifestyle to find yourself but for me, that's exactly how it happened. Whether you're in transition, feeling a little lost or simply searching for purpose in an ever changing world, know that with time all storms are calmed.

So cheers to Denver for embracing me, another east coast transplant, into it's lovely terrain. After one year of being on it's soil, Denver is deeply rooted in me. I'm connected, I'm invested, I'm here.

XOXO.

On the corner with Kevin.

Eight months ago, I was driving home from church and I met a man named Kevin. Kevin was homeless,on the side of the road and he needed help. Since the light was red I rolled down my window and started to talk to him. I asked him what his name was and how he was doing and he asked me if I had any spare change. I looked in my wallet hoping to see a few bucks but all I had with me was a $20.

I thought to myself "Man, that's a lot of money to just give away," and I heard an almost instant response, I think from God, that I easily had the means to immediately after go to the ATM and replace the $20 that I was going to give him. I gave the money to Kevin and when he realized that I had given him a $20 he started to uncontrollably sob and then the light turned green.

As I drove away my vision began to get blurry and my chest tight as I thought about my selfishness. There I was, driving a car that my host family let me use, free of charge. At the time I was living in their home rent free and eating dinner with them every evening. I was surviving in Colorado, at that point, solely because of the kindness of a family that was at one point strangers to me and I struggled to extend kindness to Kevin.

I think at times it's human nature to hold on to what we have with a closed fist. To be skeptical of the homeless, to wonder how they got there, what addiction they're struggling with and more. At times I feel like judgement comes quicker than solutions when we're looking at the people that we think somehow turned their American dream into a nightmare.

The day that I met Kevin, something inside of me changed. I drove away and I sat in a parking lot and I just cried and cried. I cried because I knew that $20 meant SO much more to Kevin than it would ever mean to me. I cried because if that were me, if that was one of my brothers, if that was my dad, my sister or my mom I would want someone to help them, to help me.

After I met Kevin a strong affection for the homeless began to grow in my heart. I would find myself turning around and pulling over to talk to someone on the street. Not because I necessarily had any money or even food to give them but rather because I wanted them to know that I saw them, that I love them, that they're important and that they have so much value.

I can honestly say that the people I give food or money too are just as grateful and happy as the people that I can only sit and talk with or hug and pray for.

Meeting Kevin reminded me of the love of Christ. Jesus didn't walk this earth with a closed fist wondering if he had enough to meet the needs of those around him, instead he extended himself and constantly went out of his way. Whether you're a believer or not, reading about the life of Jesus is a beautiful and eye opening experience. Christ is such an example of how eyes of sympathy are never enough but rather we must be filled with, moved by and continually motivated by compassion.

I heard someone say last week in a sermon that sympathy will stand by and say "that's so sad" where as compassion will not only think someones situation is sad but also come up with a plan to make it better.

I used to pray to God and ask why I was so moved and so hurt by the sight of the homeless it was through those prayer's that I began to learn more about Christ and it started to make sense. God is defined by his love for us, a love that not only loves but goes a billion steps further and saves. So those things that are in our hearts, the hurt, the pain, the weight of other people's lives, we don't feel them by accident it's no coincidence at all instead it's us being the hands and feet of Christ on earth.

God is not and will never be sympathy, he'll never stop there and neither will I. I want to forever be saturated in a Christ like compassion that compels me to act.

I wonder where Kevin is today. I drove by that street week in and week out after meeting him and I never saw him again. Wherever he is I hope that he knows that he's loved, that he's valued and that he's not invisible.

I think that I have yet to see the full extent of what my meeting Kevin will mean to my world. My heart hasn't been the same and my eyes see fresh. Where I once saw a bum on the corner I now see someone who's name I long to know and who's story I can't wait to hear.

I dare you to extend yourself, to step out of your comfort zone in a dramatic way for something that matters. I dare you to step into compassion and leave the tired and old useless story of sympathy in your past. Whether your cause is the homeless, the poor, global warming or whatever your heart is drawn towards....step out of your box and allow intentional and driven love to guide you to impact the lives of those around you that are in need.

If you find yourself working with a great program or if you have an awesome testimony from helping someone in need I would love to hear it! Feel free to comment below and share your story or send me an email at nrmagloi@gmail.com and I'll share a few of the beautiful testimonies and stories that I receive.

Until next time gang! Xoxo

Running a one man race.

Lately, the issue of race in America has been the topic of major discussion. Police brutality, African Americans as targets specifically black men...it's been on every social media outlet and news source.

Race in America...it's 2014 and yet we still don't know where we stand on this topic as a country.

I like to think of myself as someone who speaks up when I see, hear about, or even read about injustice. I have this instinct in me where I get informed, I do more research, I get emotionally invested and then I can't shut up about it.

Well, for a while I stayed far away from any topics of race. I've always wanted to be so much more than just a minority in this world. I didn't want to be judged, discriminated against or even thought about as just a black girl...I wanted to be so much more.

It wasn't until a few years ago that I realized that I was so uncomfortable in my own skin. I was so used to not being the norm, to not being the desired complexion, to not having dance tights that matched my skin, to not being able to find the right foundation, I was used to not being the norm...but just because I was used to it didn't mean I liked it. I liked being different but in ways that I could control, the fact that I couldn't control what color my skin was, just made me feel insecure and that made me run away from anything that associated me with being black.

Once I became aware of the fact that I wasn't comfortable in my own skin, I did a lot of soul searching. Wow, even now I have butterflies in my stomach writing this because I always grew up with so many different races and types of people that for a long time I didn't even notice race..and then I noticed it. Noticing it made all the difference.

One day I just had to look in the mirror and say to myself. "I'm Black. My name is Nicole Magloire and I am a black American female. My mother, the strongest woman I know is black. My father, the person that I respect more than anyone in this world, is black." I lied, I had to say it more than once for more than one day.

Coming to terms with the fact that I'm black didn't completely change the way that I interacted with the world around me but instead made all the difference in the way that I viewed myself. I found it easier to be passionate about issues in the black community even if they didn't affect my family because they impact people who look like me, people that I relate too. Accepting what I looked like, skin and all was exactly what I needed to finally be able to love myself.

Once I came to terms with the fact that I'm black, I was reminded of what it's like to be human in a world that doesn't always value your skin, that doesn't always embrace your face. I was saddened by the realization that at times when I was being pushed down by the media or insensitive jokes I joined in, instead of being my own hero.

I write this with tears in my eyes and hope in my heart because I have faith in humanity and more importantly faith in God and I refuse to believe that things won't get better. I'm not running a one man race, I'm surrounded by my brothers and sisters, some look like me...others don't. Yet here we are, asking for more. Begging for peace. Standing up against injustice. Fighting for a cause that hits closer to home than any other one has. America, it's time to change.

"If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor."