A Thought on Organizing.

I want to be radical. I mean it. I want to be radical in the best ways. I want to love radically. I want to commit myself to radically hopeful ideals. I want to be radically dedicated to the things that I believe in. I want to be like Martin Luther King Jr. Reading Why We Can’t Wait has changed me. I feel different on the inside. 

The other day I felt overwhelmed with excitement and I looked at Patrick and said “I feel like how I felt in 2016, at the start of my great awakening. I feel like I’ve been learning for the last 4 years and now it’s time to start activating that learning. It’s time to put it to work.” 

I feel like the foundation has been laid and now it’s time to build the walls and make something. Something that is real and substantive. Something that adds value. Something that is beautiful but also powerful. Something that changes the atmosphere and makes things better. 

I think that the world needs to be better. That the world can be better, should be better, would be better off if it was better… but what does better look like? I feel like we need to fight the system and demand change and tear down, so that we can rebuild but what exactly are we tearing down? What exactly would we like to erect in its place? 

Reading Why We Can’t Wait has shown me that besides the heavy weight of oppression that so persistently hampers us, we’re also impacted by a lack of vision. A lack of clear and discernible thoughts that have filtered through the noise and helped us all to stay unified and on track. A voice that has helped us to stay on mission. When I say “a voice” I don’t mean one person but rather one idea that we’re all devoted to. 

Amongst the system fighters, we seem to all agree that Black Lives Matter and that there are systems of oppression that exist that are impacting Black and brown people in this country and our way of life. With that being said, we are not all on the same page with what it means to say Black Lives Matter. We can’t all name the systems of oppression that exist. We don’t agree on what needs to happen first, or second or third. We don’t have a person, that we all respect, in a position of authority that we’re all willing to put our energy and influence behind. 

So how do we organize and lead a mission when we’re so darn unorganized? Well...I’m not sure. I know that there are people in this country, a lot of people doing really amazing work but I can’t tell you most of their names and I can’t tell you what they’re all doing. I can’t tell you if they’re working together or not. I can’t tell you if they’re aligned in regards to their mission and their vision, or not.

There’s a lot that I can’t tell you right now but I’m going to find out. I know a lot about what’s going on in my city but I don’t know the people doing it. I will. I know a lot about things that are going on in my state but I don’t know all of the people doing it. I will. I know a lot about things that need to change but right now I can’t clearly verbalize how we as a society can realistically make all of those things better. I’m working and learning so that I can be able to do that soon. 

This is not from a lack of engagement, research or knowledge. Rather, I think that after reading MLK’s words I am realizing that something is missing. The message is disjointed, it isn’t clear. What we’re trying to achieve isn’t being clearly communicated and if it is, it’s not being disseminated to all of us.

So I say we get more organized. I say we step it up a lot of notches. I say that we follow Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s footsteps and we become deeply committed to each other. Committed to fighting together for a world that we can envision, a world that we can articulate, a world that is actually within our reach.

I am committed to getting involved on a deeper level and verbalizing to you the things that we can do, on a practical level to affect real change. Instead of just saying “vote,” which I did just last week. ( I apologize, I am continuously learning) I will provide you with resources where you can understand what’s going on not just federally but more importantly in your local elections and how to be an informed voter. 

Instead of saying “we have to fight!” I’m going to detail things that are going on and tangible action steps that we can do to combat those things. I’m going to follow the lead of Brittany Packnett Cunningham, an inspiration of mine and be more clear and give more next steps. 

I talk a lot. We talk a lot. There is a lot of talk in society but there’s a lot less action steps. A lot less strategy. A lot less people, telling us HOW to do something compared to just telling us TO do something. So, I am stepping up.

I have no intention of leading any movements or starting anything new. Rather, I am going to identify key players in the movement for Black Liberation and social justice. I am going to do my part in helping to clearly communicate not only what we’re fighting against but the world that we’re fighting for.

I am going to support the disseminating of lists of what is wanted and how we intend to get there. I am going to engage in training and the work of planning protests and preparing protesters to know what they’re fighting for and their role in achieving it. I am going to use my platform as a tool for social justice and Black Liberation in my city and in our country as a whole. I am going to act more than I speak and then share those action steps with you, so that if you choose to engage in the fight, you can act too. 

So there you have it, I am committed to doing more for our world and that starts today. Below you’ll find resources related to voting. I hope that they’re useful and helpful to you as you navigate the upcoming election season. 

With radical love and a curious heart, 

-N

Registering to vote/ voter registration status/ Poll worker information..etc. 

https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote

Helping to understand which candidate (federally and locally) aligns with your beliefs 

https://www.isidewith.com/elections/2020-presidential-quiz

General Election info 

https://ballotpedia.org/Presidential_election,_2020

https://www.vote.org/

Organization supporting efforts to increase voting in the Black community and increase power and a sense of ownership in marginalized communities (an organization that I personally donate to) 

https://blackvotersmatterfund.org/our-purpose/ 

Breonna Taylor - A Poem For Her

Two lungs breathe deep 

Inhaling and exhaling 

The air heavy with news

Two legs move forward

Feet lifting and resting 

Knees bending and stretching

Two fists clenched

Thumbs in palms

Knuckles twitching at the ends of arms

This is outer body

We’re in disbelief for her

Hearing of her body broken was already enough to us

Now the words of no indictment 

Splits through the noise and comes straight for us

We’re disappointed but not surprised

Inside us our souls uprise 

And we scream for her 

We rip ourselves open and we bleed for her

We lose ourselves in rage and we break down for her

We march and we protest and some riot for her 

Some riot for her

We lose sleep and miss days on jobs for her

And walk out of school for her

Because It’s all for her

All for her

It’s for her

If we don’t do it, who will for her? 

Who will stand at attention and refuse to move for her

Who will light this place up and watch it burn for her

Because what’s worth more, to us?

A brick building or a person?

It’s all for her. 

All for her 

We didn’t ask for billboards of her

The magazines make a mockery and bring no justice for her

Your black squares

And Facebook posts brought no reparations for her

You did everything but truly fight for her

Who will for her? 

Her family grieves for her

Boyfriend has PTSD and nightmares of her 

Watched as she took her last breath

Couldn’t bring comfort to her

When justice is denied how much money can cover up the death of her? 

The death of her…

Last night we mourned for her 

we still mourn for her 

We break bread and hold hands and we pray prayers for her 

We drop tears like bombs we grieve for her 

We see no light at the end of the tunnel

We will fight for her

if we don’t for her

Who will for her?

It’s all for her

A Thought on Interracial Relationships.

When Patrick and I met, in November of 2016, I was a year into my journey of Black liberation. I was working at Goodwill Industries and my friend Olivia, still one of my best friends, had opened my eyes to the beauty of Blackness. She talked to me about Black art and Black movies, Black poets and Black activists. She was cool and hilarious, outgoing and bubbly, crazy smart and spontaneous and unbelievably proud of her heritage. Proud to be Black. I had never met anyone like her before. I tell her often that she changed my life the moment I met her and I mean it.

Olivia introduced me to an aspect of Blackness that I had never seen before. Blackness that was vast and deep. Blackness that was goofy, grounded, vulnerable and open. Blackness that enveloped me. Blackness that left me curious and wanting more. Blackness that made me over flow with self-love and a deep appreciation for the texture of my hair and richness of my skin. I had never looked at Black people with such wonder before and it was powerful and exciting and it still is.

So, I was in deep when I met Patrick. I knew that a seed had been planted and that the trajectory of my life was interrupted. Things that I didn’t talk about before I couldn’t help but to bring them up in conversation. Things that I went years, decades, without noticing caught my attention. I think that’s what it means to be woke. It’s like getting glasses and finally being able to see the world clearly.

Our relationship took off fast. Within two weeks of meeting we were official, after a month of dating we were in love and a year and a half in, we got married. The reason that our relationship took off so quickly is because Patrick was not only on the same page as me but he was also on his own journey. I remember going to his apartment and seeing a book by James Cone called The Cross and the Lynching Tree on his night stand. A book that is described as “reconciling the gospel message of liberation with the reality of Black oppression and suffering during the lynching era.”

Before I came into the picture, Patrick was doing the work. The necessary work, that white men in America should be doing. Making sure they know all of the ways that they benefit in society because of the color of their skin and their sex. The ways that their ancestors designed systems without Black people, people of color or women in mind. The way that religion, in this case Christianity, has been manipulated and defiled in order to oppress. These were topics that were already on his mind and on his lips before I ever came into the picture.

People ask me often what it’s like being married to a white person at a time like this. They ask me if Patrick is comfortable having these conversations. They ask me if we’ve talked about racism and oppression and if he is understanding and receptive. The answer is, I wouldn’t be with him if he wasn’t. When we met, I knew too much. I had seen too much. I was aware of too many things. Things that made it impossible for me to enter into a relationship or even a friendship with someone who wasn’t interested in talking about it.

We’ve been together for almost four years and Patrick works hard and is diligent but he still doesn’t always get it right. Sometimes he says things that are problematic. Sometimes he perpetuates stereotypes and does things that show his privilege in society. In those moments I don’t let what happened go. I address it. We talk about it and he works on it. It’s not easy. At times it’s really hard but we’re both willing to do the work. We just keep doing the work.

I’m Black and I’m bursting with Black love and fighting for Black liberation and I still, deep inside of me, hold anti-Black beliefs. It’s true and to try and deny it would be to deny reality. It’s because I am a product of our society. A society that was founded on white supremacist values. Values that, even without any effort on our part, become entrenched in our psyche and subconsciously feed us messages. Messages that align with the whiteness agenda.

If I hold them and I am deceived by those beliefs at times, I do not expect Patrick to be completely void of them. What I expect from Patrick is a devotion to constantly working to be the best version of himself. For me that means being dedicated to self-reflection and self-evaluation. That means thinking before he speaks and evaluating the root of his thoughts.

If a racist thought crosses Patrick’s mind I expect him to challenge, interrogate and fight that belief. I expect him to wrestle with it and pick it apart, until it’s shown to be without merit and it ultimately dies. That is was it means to be anti-racist. It means that at the very sight of racism or prejudice within ourselves we attack it. We shine a light on it and we refuse to let it go back to it’s dark and evil place of hiding. We expose it and we destroy it. That’s what I expect from Patrick and that’s what I expect from myself.

I didn’t set out to marry a white man, especially on the cusp of my Black awakening but then I met Patrick. Our love has not interrupted my journey but rather made it more beautiful and robust. When I think about the future I do not envision a world that is separate but equal but rather a world that is equitable and fair; one that we all get to enjoy together. My relationship is a reflection of my values.

My belief that we can exist and that we can thrive together. That we can choose to reject the lies that we’ve been told about superior and inferior. That we can redistribute power. That we can, as much as is possible with this system, step out of our privilege and refuse to accept more as others continue to receive less. That we can love someone who looks different than us without contributing it to being colorblind. That we can, one day, completely rebuild this system and create something that allows us all to thrive.

Until next time friends,

XOXO- N.