I do it for mine and also...for yours.

The last thing I ever wanted to do with my life was spend a large amount of my time, writing about, advocating against, and surviving racism. Growing up it wasn’t an answer that I offered when an adult asked me “What do you want to do when you grow up?”

It’s not something that I want to do. It’s not something that energizes me or fills me with this overwhelming sense of joy or excitement. It’s not easy work, for many reasons. It’s exhausting and at times demoralizing. Often it’s dark and lonely work. It has led me to walk away from friends that I thought would be in my life forever but that I see only wanted to befriend a dim and less Black version of me. It has led to tough conversations amongst family, as my family is multiracial. It’s not something that I wanted to do nor something I even currently want to do.

So why do I do it?

Because I’m Black. Because my father is Black. Because my mother is Black. Because my five brothers are Black. Because my sister is Black. Because my nine nephews are Black. Because my three nieces are Black. Three of my sisters-in-law are Black. My uncles are Black. My cousins are Black. My aunts are Black. Because I’m Black.

This isn’t work that is done out of “want” this is work that is done out of necessity. Out of a sense of urgency because as my nephews get older and go from being seen as “cute” little Black boys to “scary” Black men, I want the world that they occupy to be safer. I want to make sure that white people that I know and that read my words and interact with me, check their unconscious and conscious bias before they interact with my family.

I want to do all that I can, with all that I can, for as long as I can, to make sure that every Black person in my family lives full and beautiful lives.

Of course, the work that I do for my family, making sure that all the people I encounter check and address their racism, impacts the lives of all of the Black people that those white people meet. If I talk to a hiring supervisor, that may one day hire a family member of mine, about unconscious bias and how that impacts their hiring practices. That not only impacts the lives of the people that I love but it also impacts the lives of Black and brown people that I’ll never meet.

I’m no saint. My drive is largely selfish and focused on my loved ones but at the end of the day, I’m fighting for and rooting for everyone Black. I’m trying to live a life and move in a way that causes no additional harm to Black people. A life that does not make the plight of a Black person more difficult or challenging UNLESS they’re perpetuating anti-Black racism and in that case, I plan to give them hell as well.

I think that for most Black people, this work that wakes us up in the middle of the night is not done out of desire or want. It is driven by the question “if I don’t fight for us, who will?”

I will. Always.

Because I’m Black. Because my father is Black. Because my mother is Black. Because my five brothers are Black. Because my sister is Black. Because my nine nephews are Black. Because my three nieces are Black. Three of my sisters-in-law are Black. My uncles are Black. My cousins are Black. My aunts are Black. Because I’m Black.

-N