Pause.Refresh.Restart.

The other night, for the first time in a long time, I crashed. I was overwhelmed, exhausted and feeling inadequate. I sat in my car with Patrick and I just cried and talked, and he just listened. I knew that everything was okay and that I was just having a moment but more than anything I knew that I wasn't investing enough time in self care. 

Lately, with the start of a new job and our church moving buildings, I've been doing a lot of moving and not a lot of resting. I've been trying so hard to surpass expectations and requirements that I've started to strive again. I think it's so healthy to pursue excellence but my recent pursuits have been aimed on striving for perfection and as always, it's an exhausting, impossible and unfulfilling race. 

So for September, for the entire month, I'm taking a step back. A step back from things, that I enjoy, but tend to drain me instead of fuel me. It's time for me to take a much needed pause and here's how that will play out in my life. For the next 30 days I'm cutting all added sugar from my diet, only going on social media to post my blog or post for the church and giving up alcohol. 

Those are all pretty unrelated things, I know, but they all support a common goal. I want to fill this month with conscious decision after conscious decision to go without. I want to say no to a few things so that I have the mental, physical and emotional space to say yes to the things that really matter to me. 

Luke 5:16 says that "Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer."  I am trying, earnestly, to live a life that is steadfast and set on the pursuit of Jesus and when I feel hazy and weighed down and lost, it's by emulating his life that I find redirection.

So consider September my month of withdraw. Withdrawing from sugar, social media and alcohol so that I can draw closer to Jesus, better health and a stronger sense of self. I'm excited to see how a body not clogged by sugar and alcohol and a mind not filled with the filth of social media will play out in my life. Can't wait to tell you how week 1 goes, until next time friends! 

"It is only in Solitude that I ever find my own core." - Anne Morrow Lindbergh.