Toes.

Have you tasted your feet lately? I've tasted mine. It's not often that a week goes by where I don't, at one point or another, end up with my foot in my mouth. 

I am quick to speak. It's something that in a way I'm proud of. I'm quick on my feet, I'm able to make decisions in a flash and I'm so firm in my resolve that it doesn't take me very long to come up with an opinion. 

I guess it's fair to say that I like to talk. The sound of my own voice is soothing to me and honestly makes me feel safe and grounded. Growing up in a family of 9, outspoken and boisterous humans, I'm not sure that I always felt like I was heard; so maybe that's why whenever I find myself in front of an attentive and tuned in audience I make the most out of the opportunity. 

Last week at church the take away from the message was "Focus more on making a difference than on making a point." As soon as I heard those words they hit me right in the feels. I tried to just shake it off and tell myself that it's not something that I need to work on but really, it is. 

I am NOT always right. Let me say that again just to make sure it sinks in, this is for me more than for you, I am NOT always right. 

On my birthday, sitting in a coffee shop in Nashville, I had a moment of extreme panic. My entire life all I've ever wanted to do, for as long as I can remember, is make a difference in the world. As I sat there, I took an inventory of my days and couldn't help but to feel like, in my short 28 years of life, that I had not made a difference in anyone's life. 

I know that's not true and that I've impacted and been impacted by so much in this world but I do think that my obsession with making a point has momentarily derailed my life mission. Sure, I volunteer and write letters to senators and fight for social justice and women's right and try to love people like Christ did but I think all of those things are hard for others to grasp when they can't get past my, sometimes, intrusive opinions. 

So here's a list of 3 things that I'm working on in this new stage of my life;

A. Listening more than I speak. 

B. Being more open minded on topics that I'm really passionate about and exposing myself to opposing thoughts and opinions. 

C. Focusing more on making a difference than on making a point. 

I hope that by being transparent and authentic about this area of my life that it will lead to real and lasting change. I want to be the type of person that leaves a trail of life changing interactions and not just a trail of fiery opinions. This will be a challenge for me and I ask for grace in the process but it's something that I'm excited about and I know that it's a God led transition.

So here's to tasting my feet less and changing the world more.

Until next time friends! 

XOXO - N.